So today was definitely a good day. Kaylee and I went to jersey to visit my mom. I took some pics of her in the snow. ah she's so cute!!!! I then went to the doctors , and she prescribed me some meds . Bulimia causes a chemical imbalance which causes most patients to get depressed. Which to me sounds just about right considering the fact that sometimes I don't even want to get out of bed. But I find myself to be optimistic, which leads me to truly believing in my progress, and the one day this horrible addiction will be part of nothing but the past. But in order for me to get there I needed to find myself a mentor. Someone who will guide me into the right path. So i asked my mother to contact her pastor so that I could talk to him a little bit about what is going on, and maybe get some advice. I went to Starbucks, had some iced tea lemonade( which by the way is delicious), and sat down. As I was waiting for the pastor, I noticed a familiar face. Turned out to be Tony, My junior year prom date. i go to catch up with him, and was very pleased to hear that he sobered up from his drug addiction, and is now going to medical school. Which to me was definitely a source of inspiration considering I myself am dealing with an addiction. So finally the pastor arrived and we spoke for about an hour and a half. i got to tell him how my life was going, and he of course said all the comforting words that i needed to hear. Including the fact that there was a addiction meeting going on at the church at 7 pm. So ii called the addictions counselor, and told him i was interested in participating in the group for my bulimia. He then told me that his wife suffered from this disorder for about 7 years, and she would also be willing to help through this process. of course I got all excited because deep inside its what Ive wanted all along, someone who knew EXACTLY what I was going through. So attended the meeting and, of course, absolutely LOVED it. I t was so comforting to know that there are people out there who goes through the same exact emotions as I do, on a daily basis. So it's definitely a meeting i will be attending every Tuesday.
Today I've came to a conclusion. A doctor isn't going to heal me. Neither is a psychologist. I need to stop trying to take control over my life, God is the only one who is capable of healing this disease, and it's up to me to allow HIM to do so.
So from now on, Lord, I am all Yours.
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